An indigenous writer from The Philippines. I write about relationships, dating, polyamory, and running.

Hi! I’m John Pucay (pronounced Jaan Poo-kuhy).

I’m an indigenous person (Kankanaey-Ibaloi) from the Philippines. And I mostly write about relationships, dating, polyamory, and running. But since PSILY is closing (and 80% of my relationships articles are published there), I may focus more on other topics I’m interested in, like…

Freeing yourself from a soul-sucking job is a challenge when poverty is all you’ve ever known

You can’t “learn” to stop chasing money. It’s easy to say someone should get a career rather than a job, but it’s not that simple if you’ve only ever lived in piddling poverty.

It’s a mindset I know well: I was born and raised poor in a developing country. …

In a monogamous relationship, it would’ve taken me much longer to recognize these.

I watched Sofia Coppola’s On The Rocks last night. The film is about a wife who suspects her husband is cheating. We see the wife struggling to trust her husband and rejecting her playboy father’s advice, like investigating her husband’s hotel stays and private messages.

It’s a nice movie, but…

Friends, siblings, parents, partners. Relationships aren’t obligations or investments. They’re gifts.

I have a friend who I’ve been close to since high school. When I broke up with my long-term girlfriend, this friend became the closest person to me. But we don’t speak now.

It’s not like we had a fight or anything. We simply don’t go out anymore.

5 years…

A long-term couple goes on their last date.

She asked for a last date. I agreed. She had three requests.

“Can we have our last date for an entire day?” She asked.

I said we could. We’ll spend the day together, present in the moment.

“Can we act like we’re still together?” It was her second request. I…

We work to buy the privileges of youth that we missed, one job at a time

In his song, “Old AF,” Alex Aiono says it’s difficult to feel young when you’re burdened by responsibilities.

“Being young is pretty easy to forget, when you’re 16; paying mom and dad’s rent.”

I remember when I was 9 or 10 years old, a charity volunteer who visited my village…

Tired of meeting superficial people online? Me too.

I’ve lost count of all the creative, innovative, full-of-depth girls on Bumble who send hand-wave emojis to start a conversation. Not even a, “Hi” or “Hello” because who’s got time and energy for those right?

And then there was this girl who made me pay for the whole tab on…

“I’m stronger than I think.”

On my first half-marathon (25K*), I reached the finish line after 12 hours.

How on earth do you take 12 hours to finish a mere 25K*?!

It’s embarrassing, I know. We had an eight-hour cut-off and I wasn’t an official finisher. …

For people who see no progress in their new careers

When I left my job at a tech startup years ago, I realized that I wanted to do something different. I was afraid of changing lanes, but I decided to go for it anyway. …

Live more, write less.

I can’t promise you’ll be J.K. Rowling-rich. But I can say this writing lifestyle made me $200-a-month-on-Medium richer and more-time-with-friends/family/lovers happier.

I do all that with less than 200 followers and 6–8 articles a month. I typically write on Medium for 1–2 weeks. …

John Pucay

Relationships, Culture, Polyamory, and Running. More stories at Twitter @JPucay or email me at

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