An indigenous writer from The Philippines. I write about relationships, dating, polyamory, and running.

Hi! I’m John Pucay (pronounced Jaan Poo-kuhy).

I’m an indigenous person (Kankanaey-Ibaloi) from the Philippines. And I mostly write about relationships, dating, polyamory, and running. But since PSILY is closing (and 80% of my relationships articles are published there), I may focus more on other topics I’m interested in, like…

Freeing yourself from a soul-sucking job is a challenge when poverty is all you’ve ever known

You can’t “learn” to stop chasing money. It’s easy to say someone should get a career rather than a job, but it’s not that simple if you’ve only ever lived in piddling poverty.

It’s a mindset I know well: I was born and raised poor in a developing country. …

Friends, siblings, parents, partners. Relationships aren’t obligations or investments. They’re gifts.

I have a friend who I’ve been close to since high school. When I broke up with my long-term girlfriend, this friend became the closest person to me. But we don’t speak now.

It’s not like we had a fight or anything. We simply don’t go out anymore.

5 years…

A long-term couple goes on their last date.

She asked for a last date. I agreed. She had three requests.

“Can we have our last date for an entire day?” She asked.

I said we could. We’ll spend the day together, present in the moment.

“Can we act like we’re still together?” It was her second request. I…

Whether you’re polyamorous or monogamous, cheating must be defined by you and your partner(s).

A strictly monogamous friend asked me once:

“As a poly person, how do you define cheating?”

And I said: Anything that breaks an agreement you and your partner made. Any action that betrays the boundaries you both defined.

He looked surprised. “You made an agreement?” Then he paused. “Oh. Right…

Doctor Meetup: It’s like Tinder but for meeting doctors.

The Cardiologist’s office. I set a 9 AM appointment, the doc’s earliest office hour, and I arrive early because maybe the doc’s fresher and more accommodating then.

But other people had the same idea so I wait an hour in the queue before getting in.

3 minutes and a few…

We work to buy the privileges of youth that we missed, one job at a time

In his song, “Old AF,” Alex Aiono says it’s difficult to feel young when you’re burdened by responsibilities.

“Being young is pretty easy to forget, when you’re 16; paying mom and dad’s rent.”

I remember when I was 9 or 10 years old, a charity volunteer who visited my village…

John Pucay

Relationships, Culture, Polyamory, and Running. More stories at Twitter @JPucay or email me at

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